come undone

who wants to binge with me?

Oh my God:  New York Chocolate Tours

just another Wednesday

It suddenly became quiet, so I had to look around and see what was going on.  I found the czar sitting behind his hamper...stinking.

Did you make "stink-stink?"

The czar shakes his head indicating "no" but I know something is up.

Did you make "stink-stink?"  I think you did...

The czar attempts to run with his diaper almost down to his knees. He stands and trips on a pillow, landing in his bum, spraying his surroundings with...stink-stink.

Wow.

Even he was in awe of the sight.

In other news, the Jolie-Pitts were in Central Park playing. It made the news. I'll be in Target with Alexander later this afternoon if anyone gives a shit.

Tuesday in New York

The wedding was great. The bride and groom are Jamaican so they made sure there was a Jamaican influence in the food — that made my night.  I often attempt to make jerk chicken, but it just never turns out well. I won't give up!  Of course, Alexander did very well with Aunt ME. Her saliva-soaked cell phone is an indication of a good time.

The czar and I are getting along well these days.  The czar's two naps have gotten longer and when he's awake, it's to feed his face, watch some Noggin' and interact with mama. I'd love to throw a playdate into the mix this week, but I just can't drive an hour to do so...and that drive would put the czar to sleep. I am up to my ass in freelance and I don't have time to do much else. That will change once we win Powerball...

We are growing again...here he is watching the "backpack, backpack" segment of Dora the Explorer (which doesn't rhyme and that bothers me.) The octopus chair has come in handy.

leaving my little mushy mush...

Tonight we must attend a wedding and I am concerned about my little guy. Don't bother telling me about how he has to get used to us going out and how I have to learn to let go a bit.  I know he's not ready and it's killing me that I have to leave him.  Mind you, it will only be for a few hours and he will be in the good, capable hands of Aunt ME, but still. It's only been about two weeks that he's considered me "mama" and the idea that I have to close that door and leave him kills me. I know he'll be a mess...I had the privilege of sleeping in an extra two hours and for those two hours, I heard nothing but crying, screaming and "ma maaaaa!"  My little cutie...

some blabber

Hubby hasn't been home in ages.  He's an accountant at an international firm, Big Shit Accounting (heh heh, made myself laugh...I'm tired). The hours have been insane this week and tis the season for socializing with coworkers and management. Ya just gotta do it. This evening he worked until 9 and then ventured out to a bachelor party for a coworker. Maybe I'll seem him tomorrow...

It's been me and the czar all week. We're in the midst of a good streak and communicating via sounds and gestures we created. He was hungry and he chose to let me know by grabbing a bib, walking to the kitchen and rubbing his stomach. To be picked up, he says "uh, uh" and raises his arms, wiggling his fingers. To go down, he simply points down. All with great eye contact...ah, that's my boy. I don't mean to drone on and on about him. I hate listening to people that brag about their kid left and right and here I am doing it on my blog every day....but then again, it's my friggin' blog. I'm just proud of how far we've come, proud of how we manage day to day. We learn from the bad days and enjoy the good days.

And we enjoy the stupid stuff...today's shopping experience at Trader Joe's was awesome. It's stimulation galore in there now: palm trees, flashy signs, tiki illustrations...Alexander was full of "ohhhh" and "ahhhhh."  The music was also blasting in there today and I was able to take my time and walk the aisles.  He even got stickers from the cashier. Friggin' exciting, I tell ya.

We also had our first official play date this evening. My friend Cathy brought her 2½ year old son over and the two little folks played together for hours. Pretty awesome. Alexander now has a friend his size he can hang out with...and it's a boy!  WEe're surrounded by girls here and none of them share his interest in trains, cars and airplanes. But now...

Tomorrow is Gymboree day. This place has inspired my son to climb coffee tables, shelves and dressers. It drives me crazy, but at least he lands properly.

for Susan (thought I'd make you feel special by putting your name in a post title)

I'm late with this, but go give Susan a hug. She just came home from Murmansk, met her referral and ended up falling in love with a beautiful little girl. She filed to adopt her and just received news that the birth mother came to get her. Susan features a letter to the birth mother on her blog which I find amazing. To reiterate what others have said, your daughter is out there, Susan. 

A been-there-done-that blurb, and then I'll get off the soap box:  This process is so insane. We've learned that anything can happen. My Russian process went pretty smoothly, but my US process was ridiculous (see the April/May archives). I did not feel the pain of losing a referral, but I still had some extra hoops to jump through. I got a taste of how out of control it can all be.  Expect the unexpected and you'll survive...but you know what? The end result is pretty awesome. Do your best to endure the madness to come. Once your child is home, none of it matters. It's a small part of the journey.

foolin' around with the camera

    

He likes me, he really likes me!

Special thanks to Sally Field for the headline...(that was the start of her Academy Award speech, folks.)

After a 15-hour day being a punching bag mommy and pulling a design for an “emergency” brochure out of my ass for a client, I went into a coma around midnight. Papa would be home to get the czar up and running by 6...I could slee an extra hour! Morning comes and I am awoken from my slumber by a small hand tugging at mine. My little czar is crying. Papa stood behind him. "He wanted you. He dragged me to you."  So we went to sit on the couch together. I had coffee, he had diluted juice. We watched some Noggin' and he danced and grinned when that friggin' Moose came on to sing "We're going on a trip..."  My son doesn't enjoy the shows. Just the Moose.

Get your flags out. Today, Zach gets sworn in as an American citizen. Finally. We've had to postpone this event twice because of speculation about court dates and the fact that he'd never get a passport in time to get to Russia. Now it's happening.  He can't wait to vote.

I confess

I love him...regardless of how insane he makes me.

Oh boy...

I am recovering from a Monday night beating. Upon removing the czar from the bath and wraping him in a towel, he scowled and headbutted me. Hard. I looked as him in disbelief and he gave me a right hook. Minutes later, he wants "up." I pick him up and get slammed. Later on he wanted "up" yet again. I cautiously pick him up and he taps me....taps a little harder...then harder...then BAM! A double-handed slam.

I tried to explain that hitting mama is not permitted and all that crap, gave him a "time out," even a hand slap with a vicious NO. By 8:00, I was unravelling. The only thing I could do was hand him off to papa when he walked through the front door. I went to straight to bed at 8:15 with a throbbing head and hopes that Tuesday would be better.

Tuesday is kinda sorta better.

When upset, his usual outlet was banging his head against the floor or a wall, looking for my reaction.  I ignored all of that and it stopped. Now it seems mama is the new outlet. What the hell happened? We had such a great week and I did my best to prevent overstimulation this past weekend.

-=sigh=-

Update: Success...We had a hitting incident this afternoon while preparing for a very much needed Nap #2. I put him in his crib and let his scream for five minutes. Scream. Hyperventilate. Hit the wall. Is it the best thing to do? Probably not, but it worked.  After about five minutes of screaming bloody murder, I walked in, told him everything was OK, kissed him and suggested that he sleep. For ten minutes I hung out over his crib. We looked at one another...I rubbed his belly, he sucked his thumb. Then he was out cold.

I need a slice of cheesecake in the worst way.