come undone

Sunday in New York..

I pumped my czar full of Baby Tylenol at 5 AM.  His little nose was cemented shut and I decided drugs would make everything better. It did. It is 9:30 AM and he is wrapped in a blanket sleeping peacefully.  My poor baby...but I did have the opportunity to have a cup of coffee.

It didn't help that we ran him ragged on Saturday either...

Our day began at 6 and we spent the morning calling everyone and their mother in Europe and playing with Papa. By 10 we realized he missed his morning nap. By 10:15 we were on the road to Gymboree where my little boy became The Gymboree Whore: he stole Gymbo the Clown from the cupboard, whined and got to ring the bells that call all the kids for the parachute songs, pushed kids out of the way so he could get extra bubbles blown in his face and tried to shove a little boy out of his favorite purple inner-tube. He was one of three kids riding on the instructor during Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, We're Going to the Moon or whatever the hell that song is called.

By noon he was asleep in his crib...the nose began to drip. At 1:00 our friends from Brooklyn popped by for a visit. By 1:30 the czar was up and being tossed about by these friends for a bit...and one of them had a beard which is a big WHOA in Alexander's book. We were in a restaurant by 2:30 where the bearded one ordered way too much food for the table and Alexander dined on a dish of ziti, croutons, Spanish olives, bread crust and Caesar dressing that he sucked off the lettuce I put in his dish.  Another table had a birthday and the staff came out singing Happy Birthday. It scared the hell out of my child and we had some tears.

We were home by 5:00 and the czar was tossed about some more. I realized he missed Nap #2. By 6:30 we were en route to a small, overcrowded, neighborhood Italian festival with a growing (!) Aunt ME. For Two hours Alexander whined because he wanted to go on the rides with the big kids, but the zeppoles were awesome. On the way home, my husband decided he had to stop by my mom's for something. Aunt ME was dragged as well. Upon seeing Grandma's house we had screaming and crying so I brought him inside. It was 9:00. By 10:00 we were home...he was in bed by 10:15. and woke up at 5:00 crying and pointing at the parking lot, "mama, keys, car" and that's when I saw that pathetic little nose.

Today we will subject him to more madness. We are celebrating my brother's and niece's birthday at my mom's.  (Just noticed the many apostrophes in that sentence.)  The meal: lasagna...can't miss that.

Down with America (Except the Bronx)

This was on the home page of The New York Times this morning. I got a kick out of it.

Down with America (Except the Bronx)

(photo c/o The New York Times)

a visit to the pediatrician

Today we ventured upstate to the pediatrician.  Her office was the epitome of insanity — at least ten kids there for phyicals and frightening illnesses. My little guy only needed a booster and chicken pox vaccine. It was to be an in-and-out situation but pain in the ass me wanted him on a scale. So he was quickly weighed...fully clothed...wiggling..and it looked like he LOST weight, about a pound. On the other hand, he 's about 2 inches taller...the good doctor says not to dwell on it. What we see is not accurate but if I wanted to wait a bit for a free room they could weigh him again properly. I didn't want to wait six years for the family of three to get their physicals done, so we opted to leave. He'll get his 24-month physical in January...just keep feeding him table food.  That is, if I can get him to eat. I will try to stop being neurotic about this...

We're all done with shots, by the way. He only needed four when he arrived in the States and he came to the US in a healthy state...those Russian medicals have a tendency to make your child sound like a disaster.

And another thing...my kid is so friendly. He went up to all the kids in the waiting room and they all just stared at him blankly or backed off. This works fine at Gymboree for him but in the outside world, the kids are spooked. What the hell...

Oh, and he likes the Teletubbies. I don't have anything to say about that.

I should spend more time cleaning up...

The kitchen sink was overflowing, so last night I took a moment to tackle the issue. This is what I found:

1) 2 full Nuby cups
2) a small yellow school bus
3) a small rubber car
4) a remote control
5) a rejected snack

violating a Mommy Rule

I violated a big Mommy Rule: I yelled at someone else's child. I yelled at my niece while she was screaming in my son's face and slapping him in the head. He just stood there and took it...I saw the scared and confused look on his face and I went into Mommy Protector Mode. I should have gotten my SIL to handle the situation, but I needed to save my baby. It was a play date from hell.  If I had a choice, these two wouldn't be "playing" together again but that's just me being extreme...I gotta get over it. Kids fight. Kids do not like to share their toys. Kids are kids...but until my child has the words to defend himself, I won't be at ease. I gotta teach my baby not to take any shit.

The Get-Bronx-On-Yo-Ass class for toddlers is now in session.

Who else has crossed the line? Don't make me think it's just me!

what a week

There have been so many changes in my little boy this week.  I am really enjoying it. There are more attempts at saying different things aqnd there is definately more babbling. None of his 23 words are pronounced perfectly and some are his own words for certain objects or animals, but he gets his point across well. He gets very excited when he is understood. Elephant is a consistent ellllll. Light is lala at the moment. He understands a great deal and since I talk to him all the time, I have no idea what's sticking. It's fun to see what pops out of his mouth. For example, I gave him some goldfish crackers and he told me shish.  The mama, keys, car thing threw me for a loop because it's something I never put together. It's something he's observed. Very cool. It feels great to know he is learning. Note to self: watch the language. I've resorted to using anus, degenerate and crackhead...they just don't seem effective when someone cuts you off.

Alexander is also a big fan of music. He dances aggressively in his car seat. Certain songs end, he claps, says "yaaayy!" then whines for more. It cracks me up. His absolute favorite song is Let Me Roll by Seal.

Next week we go back to the pediatrician for two more shots. I'm not sure he gained any weight...he got taller and his shape changed, but I don't think that scale budged. He eats when he wants to, which seems to be every other meal. It's aggravating and I do not force him. I leave items out for him to graze on and it works on occasion. What he liked last week is not what he likes this week...which brings us to....

The Big Food List of the Week or Why Mama Thinks Alexander is Not Gaining Weight
1) vanilla soy milk (he refuses regular milk...they thought he was allergic to dairy in Russia, but he's eating cheese without any issues...he just hates milk)
2) grapes
3) plums
4) pasta with sauce (whole wheat pasta too!)
5) chicken soup with pasta and veggies
6) toast with peanut butter
7) mozzarella cheese
8) American cheese
9) stuffed peppers (this was major...he must have been starving...beef, brown rice, onion & tomato)
10) mama's hazelnut coffee
11) mama's green tea
12) kalamata olives
13) Ritz crackers (but he will only take a bite out of one, look at the shape he created and take another)
14) Gerber fruit or veggie juice (only 15 grams of sugar per serving)
15) Gerber Graduates cereal bars
16) macaroni and cheese...organic, with white cheddar. He frowns upon Kraft. Go figure...

Exciting, eh?

Lastly, the baptism plans are in full swing. The event is October 13. We settled on a not-so-pretty-looking Italian restaurant that can hold our 110 guests and provide great food. We took a trip to Queens last night to visit Alexander's godfather (his nouno) to see what he picked out for the event. This baptism is a BIG event for the godfather. Tradition dictates that he buy Alexander's baptismal outfit and anything necessary for the ceremony, which turned out to be a lot of stuff. He is also responsible for favors which are cute. We're going nautical here...Alexander will come to church in his Sunday best, a navy blue captain's jacket with a white shirt and white pants. The ceremony will begin and our little guy will be in his birthday suit wrapped in a white nautical-themed towel. After he's baptised he will wear his trendy, white silk one-piece outfit purchased by his nouno. Aunt ME is our Christian Witness and will assist the godfather in the ceremony. My mom and Zach's mom play a part in the ceremony as well by undressing and dressing Alexander in his new suit. I think Zach and I just kinda stand there and hang out. The orthodox ceremony is an elaborate one. I've never been involved in one so I'm looking forward to it. I plan on creating a program to explain what's happening. My family will be clueless so it's absolutely necessary...I'll post it here so you can see how it all goes. 

And that is that...I have tons of work to get done by tomorrow. Grandma (Ba-BAAA!) is coming over to play so mama can be productive.  Oh, it's 12:30...I'm eating first.

wow...

Said this afternoon while grabbing hold of the diaper bag: "Mama, keys, car..."

today

There were changes in my son today. New sounds, new gestures, new words, new food...and best of all, he addressed me as "mama."  Finally. He has always referred to me as "mama" to others, but never called me anything. To have a little person walk up to you, grab your hand, look you in the eye and say "mama?" is awesome.

pregnancy news...

No not me...Aunt ME!  Aunt Me is due in March. The world has a few months to prepare for this stellar event. I am very much looking forward to this because she's my sister and together we can warp our children's minds.  I can't wait to share this mommy experience with her. With Alexander home and now this exciting news, my mother cannot stop giggling.

Car. The conclusion.

The mystery has been solved. Not sure if I mentioned this, but every night he asks for "car" and I never seem to have the right one. After the other night's episodes I finally realized what was going on. Finally. He's been looking for a particular car. Last night I found it. THE car...a little squishy police car bath toy (thanks Beagle!) sitting on the microwave. I have never seen such a smile. He went right asleep with his car...