come undone

just bitching: justifying my life

Earlier this week, FedEx made a delivery: seven not-so-small-projects for seven not-so-easy clients that have been sitting on the boss' desk for quite some time. Because they sat on her desk, I was required to turn all of this around by this morning.  And, of course, two projects from my freelance folks also appeared.

Under normal circumstances, I'd consume a cheesecake, pick fights with my husband and shoot myself in the face...but this week, I managed to get it all done without doing any of that — perhaps a sign that I'm finally learning how to handle this working mom thing. But something had to give...I just have no social life.  And people get pissed at me:

Sorry, we have a family event that day...

No, I can't leave my son "with anyone" for a few hours so I can have dinner with you...

Sorry, I'm on deadline this week...

I'm the first to admit that I'm terrible with the phone, terrible with the emails and terrible with planning outings. This former let's-go-hang-out individual has different priorities now: child, work and to get the hell out of this flat...but whatever...I spent way too much time this week justifying my life.

Hey, maybe I'm just a bitch and I'm totally cool with that.

ZZZzzzzz

We spent Easter at my mom's. Sixteen people were crammed into a dining area suitable for eight while my son and his older cousin chased one another through the rooms. Of course there is no room to run around so I found my son behind a side table tangled in telephone wires, under the diningroom table and in the bathroom. He fell and smashed his head too many times to count and I could never get to him after this happened because there was someone or something in the way. All the moms in the room would rub his head and assure me he was fine...but that wasn't good enough because I needed to be the one rubbing his head, holding him and seeing if he's fine. My nerves were shot by the end of the day.

And Alexander was fine.

Until 11:30 PM when he wrapped himself up in his blanket SCREAMING and hyperventilating. It seemed like one of his night terrors but it lasted way too long. By 12:45 he began shoving his fist in his mouth. Those damn molars!  I attempted to get some tylenol and orajel in him, but Alexander resisted. He wrestled, hit and screamed at me for what seemed like a half hour. Finally I just held him down and rubbed orajel all over his mouth. A  few seconds later he stopped screaming and gazed at me..."thank you, oh great mother."  Then he drank his tylenol. Then he fell asleep. It was 2:30. 

Holy shit.

one year

On March 23, 2007 I received my referral. This little face changed my life.   

I know you're sick of me saying I can't believe it, but it's the truth. I really can't friggin' believe this. For those of you waiting, you're day will come. And I know you're sick of hearing that as well, but it's the truth. 

Eight months home and I have a little boy to use hair product on...

hello tylenol, nice to see you

Those molars are coming in.  One is half in and I was oblivious to it all. Another is breaking through and I swear I didn't see it this morning but it's there now.

the meeting

Alexander and I spoke at the meeting for about two hours. I told our adoption story and answered questions while Alexander played the crowd.   At the end, a few came up to thank me and that felt good. I really hope I was able to make them feel good about the process. 

The meeting left me with a desire to adopt again...we won't be permitted to while living in this flat and Zeus stopped shitting rolls of quarters sometime last year.

St. Pete, maybe we'll be back.

rambling

I'm back. Kinda sorta. I'm glad everyone enjoyed our exclusive dance coverage. And I am happy that so many came out and admitted that they venture up their children's nasal passages. The czar's nose has been clear since that major nose event...and usually the baby wipes do the trick. I'm not sure I can live without those things now.

Here's some big news: we've had a growth spurt! (Good observation, Christen!)  He's eating everything in sight (most of it being pure crap), sleeping 10 hours a night, plus a lovely 2½ hour afternoon nap or two. It looks like he's grown about 2 inches. His 12-18 month Gap jeans are now "high waters."  We've moved up to the 18-24 month style: the length is OK but the waist is massive. The straps at the waist are adjusted to its tightest setting. He needs to wear 18-24 month shirts now because the 12-18s are too short. My baby is growing.

And we have conversations now.

In other news, my agency has an information meeting in NYC tomorrow night and yours truly will be the family spokesperson. The czar will also attend. Thirteen months ago I sat in one of these meetings. Here I am about to share my adoption experience. 

I can't believe we're home 8 months.

I can't believe I received the czar's referral a year ago (on March 23). 

I can't believe how much I love my son. After 8 months it has grown considerably. It scares the hell out of me.

Note to Aunt Wendy: I'm not teaching him to dance. That's all him. That's what makes it awesome.

more boogie

I've been a bit backed up in the work and housekeeping departments, so I am offering another video for your entertainment. Upon playing the video back, I realized there is a nice four-lettered word in the lyrics. Um...ignore it and just watch my son's rockin' moves.

The Bear and I...

(Something to entertain you until I get a chance to sit still.)

Never thought this would happen...

Today I picked my son's nose. 

Saline, tissues, wipes and that snot-sucky-thingy could not remove the gigantic, green glob that clung to his left nostril.  The czar was bothered by the monster in his nose so I decided to take action. With a few scoops he was free from the green demon lodged in his face.

His breathing was restored.

I was kinda grossed out...and here I am telling the world about it.

a message from my nephew...

"hey, wassup?"

Think they make leather jackets in his size?