come undone

REJECTED

A couple of weeks ago, I enrolled the czar in a mini session of tae kwon do. For $20, he got a uniform and would receive a private session to see if he liked it. Upon entering the facility this morning, the czar was intrigued by what he saw: people his size kicking and running and yelling and whatever. I thought it was awesome. The czar thought it was awesome too. 

Our private session consisted of this:

Alexander, sit down here.
(Alexander hides behind mommy.)

OK, Alexander, you sit with mommy down here...
(Mommy sits on the floors. Alexander ignores the teacher....)

Alexander, come here.
(Mommy tries to get the child to sit. Unsuccessful...)

OK.  I can't let him in the school.

Well OK then.

We will try again in June, for shits and giggles because he really seems to enjoy what he sees and I think he could benefit from this. Today may have been a case of performance anxiety, but I'm thinking it's just his usual stubborness. But damnit, my kid was kicked out of a school.

REJECTED!

(sigh...)  That's not supposed to happen until the teen years. jeez...

things found in our bathroom drains

The bathroom sink was clogged this week.  Found inside:

1) Cotton balls. Lots of them.
2) One Shrek toothbrush
3) One teeny tiny car

Almost as good as what we found in our bathtub drain last summer:  two drunksticks.

I don't know when these drain invasions are occuring since the child is with me constantly. Maybe it's the cat trying to set the czar up.

hijacking mom's blog cuz she sux

Let's just say it: my mom sucks at posting lately. She's working a lot which is good because that means she can buy me more Matchbox cars. I bet you're wondering how I'm doing and what I'm up to...and if you're not well, I'm gonna let you know anyway because that's how I roll. 

Let's see...I'm bored with Gymboree art class so I've been bitching at my mom to find something else. Right now we're doing classes at this place called Great Play and it friigin' rocks. It's all about motor skills and athletics and they incorporate colors and stuff and when I knock kids down it's totally tolerated.  I'm not in preschool or anything and it looks like mom's gonna hold me back until Pre-K and I'll even be starting that late because of my late December birthday...something about being a leader and not a follower. Whatever mom. Just keep me busy. The weather is getting better so shell out some cash and do that zoo membership again.

I love destoying our home. I like to scatter all of my cars in the livingoom and foyer so everyone can step on them and bust their asses. It's awesome.  Abusing the cat is also fun. I haven't been scratched across the face in a few weeks though. Gotta work on that.

To papa's surprise, I'm picking up Greek. Mom tries to use it with me but I get ultra pissed at her because I want to hear English from her. Anything else coming from mom is kinda wack. So anyway, I yelled at mom - I mean, really let het have it. She also had the balls to address me as Alex instead of Alexander. That pissed me off too. So mom...NO "Alex" and NO Greek. My vocabulary kicks ass, by the way, and I know how to say "fuck off" in Greek.

Food? Sometimes I don't eat and mom stopped freaking out about that. Since I made 30 pounds, she's pretty much given up. She's a pain in the ass about napping though. I sleep about 10+ hours at night and do a 2+ hour nap in the afternoon. Makes her happy and it gives me time to chill without listening to her bitch and moan.

Potty training? I learned to pee standing up and really, I only do that when I feel like it, otherwise I'm all about the diaper. I just CANNOT be bothered with this running to the toilet business and I really don't give a shit about the dancing and the candy that comes with using that thing. Diapers, diapers, diapers.

Here's a list of stuff I like:

• monster trucks
• scotch tape
• throwing juice boxes
• eating snow
• construction videos
• car carriers...whoa
• Gramma
• SUVs
• the Imagination Movers
• the Easter Bunny
• my penis
• when mom works and it's quiet
• steaming hot baths
• shaving cream
• sand
• our shower curtain with the map of the world

And food I like:

• lemons with salt
• pickles
• onion
• chicken soup
• pasta with olive oil and romano cheese
• pasta with tomato sauce and peas
• anything bizarre I may find on the floor
• string beans
• greek salads
• some Thai food
• fortune cookies
• broiled meatballs with onion
• corn
• most fruit
• cat food

And that's kinda all I've got. I'm almost 3½ - almost a man now. I think 2 years ago this week my mom and dad got my referral too. That's pretty cool.

And here's me.