come undone

adam lambert...

I was going to rant and rave about Adam Lambert, but that will get boring. Instead, let's just watch this glittery boy take a nap. He's dreaming of the Revlon counter at Macy's...my kind of guy.

 

And if you're wondering what my husband thinks of my obsession, he's fine with it...after all, I tolerate his obsession with Beyonce.

*sigh*

My son will never be potty trained because I lack the patience and consistency needed to get the job done...and sometimes he just likes to urinate on the floor to get a reaction from me. It's THAT exciting around here.  So if anyone wants to train my son, I'm paying cash...

I've got this: http://www.childavenue.com/images/pdf%20files/train_potty.pdf  and a candy/toy car reward system in place. He's just got some major anxiety...We spent three hours visiting the bathroom every 15 minutes and had two accidents and a fart.  Yay me...

an update (for those who give a crap...ha! crap!)

The czar has successfully landed a tiny morsel in the purple potty. It has been photographed and celebratory phone calls have been made. Urinating in the toilet is fine...anything else causes a complete freak out.  I'm just glad we made it this far...I am now convinced potty training IS possible. It's noon and I am exhausted...yay purple potty!

Saturday night excitement...a TMI event

We kinda sorta made "stink stink on da potty."  YAY!  Kinda sorta because the czar was able to sit there and do his thing...it was just on the teeny tiny side and clung on for dear life to his little butt...but I'm counting it! He performed the necessary tasks to get that sucker out. And it took 2 Dr. Seuss books...who knew the arrival of excrement would be so exciting?

rant

I am a freelance graphic designer working from home. And I do get work. Opportunities and projects arrive via mobile or email at random times and since everyone and their mother is hungry for work, I must be available to repsond immediately. The goal is to steal that job from someone else...do it faster...do it cheaper. And if you do a good job, you can bid on more, or are just given more, which is always lovely. And it can get out of hand, but since we're still in rental mode in the housing department, I can't turn anything away...we're dwelling in 6 rooms here and it's a bit tight — I'm counting the foyer as a room, mind you. The open layout of this place is great for a cocktail party, but terrible for anything work-related. My work area is the foyer. Right in the middle of it all. Right now, I am listening to Spongebob Squarepants, a phone call to Greece, the cat scratching in his litter box and the super emptying the 4th floor garbage bins. I'm thankful that I can even work from home, but I am jealous of those that go to work for their designated hours and can come home for their designated family time.  The grass is always greener....Oh, and I'm a mom to a needy three-year-old ("Mommy? Mom? Mooooom???")  and wife to an accountant who tends to be a bit busy ("I'm working late tonight.") and neighbor to a delightul 86-year-old who is so lonely and is so good to my son (I didn't see your car and was hoping everything was OK. Come by.") and daughter to parents who seemed to all of a sudden get very old (I can't even get into that, but it's strange how that happens). Anyway, it can be a real pain in the ass. That's all I really want to say...everything can be a real pain in the ass. It's life, I realize that. And don't give me shit about how I only have on kid because I am convinced it's harder because I have to be the main source of entertainment and I am soooo tired of "playing cars." And I could have just typed "I need a break" here, but that wouldn't have been very exciting, and besides, you needed something to read. Better than a post about American Idol's Adam Lambert i suppose, because I could go  and on about that chunk of lovliness forever...I've been leaving that for Facebook anyway.

Please don't vote him off until the end...I need SOMETHING to look at every week.

Kate, don't analyze my grammar. It's a disaster.

yeah...

The "Lightning McQueen" underwear arrived...the czar was thrilled with the concept of a cartoon car on his backside so he promptly ripped off his pullup and donned the new underwear.

"Mommy, I tell you when I have to go potty."

And within minutes he was behind the couch crapping in his new underwear.

vocabulary

Practically every hour something bizarre, cute or inappropriate comes out of my son's mouth. It's great fun...probably the only thing about "three" I'm enjoying right now. I'm only four months into "three" so I'm hoping new and exciting things come our way. Like potty training...I feel he is trained. He just doesn't give a rat's ass...and likes to break chops, bust balls and whetever else. He sees how we bribe and beg for him to utilize the facilities...and let's face it, why stop what you're doing to go to the bathroom when you can easily complete the task right there in the livingroom while watching tv or playing? What if we miss something exciting while hanging around by the toilet? My son prefers to multi-task. I've started to resort back to old tricks like tossing Cheerios into the toilet. The Aim Game is generally a success, depending on the czar's mood.

So lately, besides Adam Lambert, I've been enjoying my son's words.  I'd like to share some of his wisdom and randomness again...

“Mommy. Stop singing. It is sooooo annoying."

“I want a time out."

“Mommy. Listen. I too small for unda-wear."

"I no like you. I only like papa."

Oh...he has also mastered doorknobs and can finally open the refrigerator. Definately a sign of the apocalypse.

um...WHAT?

My son pranced down the hall to me and announced "Mommy! I am covered in shit!" 

Papa has a lot to learn about language and these little brains...

because it's American Idol Day

  

This is what gets me through the week...damnit, I can't stand it...

three, part two

Also heard around our home this weekend:

“I don't like you guys. I'm MAD."

“Go A-WAY!"

“Don't look at me!"

“I said just a minute."

“You go to bed. I watch Noggin' with papa."

"You go to grandma's (or bye bye, or to the store) and I stay home."

“I need candy.LISTEN. I need candy."

three

"I can't...I CAN"T!"

"I just do this." 

"Listen. Listen to ME."

"No."

"I don't want to."

"This is MINE. You don't tell me."

Three is a pain in the ass. Yes, some things about three are lovely. His vocabulary is huge. His personality is booming...but this kiss-my-ass attitude he's walking around with is exhausting. I'm the one he picks fights with. I'm the one he snaps at. At least he's not biting my ass. He only does that to the poor cat.