come undone

day one

  

The well oiled machine that is preschool sucked in my child.  Driving over was interesting: "I'm not going. I don't want to go. I'm not going."  Four teachers were ushering screaming children into the backyard. My child became one of those screaming little people. He was swooped up by a kind-faced, enthusiastic teacher and shown the cars. I was escorted down the driveway by the director who gave me a hug and a kiss (?!) and told me we will have a successful school year. I kinda liked that...

So I'm home with coffee and will indulge in some facebook then organize the workload in the inbox.  Noon comes fast.

I also have to mention that I was awakened by the sound of the czar urinating in the toilet. By himself! His pullup was DRY! Exciting.

he was ready...

Beginning day 3 of potty training and he's doing just fine. Really. I think I overreacted a bit at the preschool...still pissed they changed a policy, but feeling a bit stupid because they knew my son would be fine if I took their advice...for the fourth time in the past 12 months, I've resorted to exclusive underwear use. It was always a disaster and I felt I was pushing him...this school thing pissed me off and I thought I'd try it again. It's friggin' working BUT I must say it's been a year and I'd like to think that SOMETHING I did along the way clicked. Whatever...day 3 and he goes alone, standing, with various techniques: hand on wall, one leg on toilet, etc. It's amazing and I'm proud of my czar. 

Of course now I have to think about where bathrooms are everwhere I go and the ide aof using one at a supermarket completely schkeeves me out.  i should start implicating the pee-in-a-soda-bottle technique now. He'll be doing it when he starts driving anyway. 

thanks! and some tmi

Thanks for the support and advice. I'm feeling better about it all after a few hours of venting...and I guess that woman was right about the underwear thing. I kept it on him for most of the day. After going through 6 pairs, we peed 3 or 4 times and I was able to stop a bowel movement mid-push and threw him on the toilet. We are now celebrating "stink stink"...and he's back in a pull up for the overnight.

I'm exhausted and emotionally drained.

preschool...(sigh)

(Warning: irrational thoughts and bad words.)

So I'm just in from buying underwear for my son. This was unplanned since the pediatrician and I had recently adopted the "he'll go when he's ready" philosophy after months and months of coaxing and failed methods, etc. What brought this on? I went to drop off his shitload of paperwork and tuition at the preschool and was greeted with "We changed our diaper-friendly policy." I turned white and shit myself because one of the reasons why we chose this place was because of this wonderful "diaper-friendly" policy. The happy concept of "he'll be inspired to go on his own when he sees others go" left me feeling peaceful...hearing this made me go batshit knowing my son will be peeing and shitting all over himself in school...kinda worried about him being shamed into doing it. I'm not a fan of that method. It doesn't work around here. So all this is going through my head and I shot back with a kinda not-so-nice "What? Wait, I enrolled him because of this policy..." In a split second I became of those moms that will make them nuts. (Good.)

Director: "hold on, hold on, we're gonna work with you."

Me:  "When were you going to announce this policy change?"

Director: "Oh at next week's parent meeting."

And then the teacher was dragged out and she explained thats she's the mother of three and putting the kid in underwear is successful and all that shit. My son is 3½ and it's time and she knows what she's doing. Yeah, yeah, that's fucking great. Who are you again?

Teacher: "He's only here 2 mornings so you need to work with me."

Director, trying to be supportive: "Yeah, I know you must want this for your son."

And I stood there a bit stunned and probably had a nasty facial expression because I'm still trying to digest the "I'm the mother of three and I know all" speech and this new policy they just pulled out of their asses a few days ago. Of course I want him potty trained...refer to my explanation in first paragraph.

Then more of the full day shit...

Director: "You really need top be open to full days too. He will learn so much."

Me: "Full days do not interest me at all."

Director: "I'm a doctor of education, Blah blah blah."

Me: "I'm his mother. I know my child and I'm not even a fan of preschool. I enrolled him to be socialized blah blah blah."

Director: Blah, blah, blah

Me: "No. I'm sorry. No. He's 3."

Director: "Well, we don't even have a space open anyway. Let's see how it goes."

Me: "He's 3 and you're talking about a 6 hours program. He's 3. And I'm trying to recover from this new policy of yours."

Director: "Well, let's se."

Me: "He's 3!"

And she smirked and went inside and I walked away feeling everything under the sun muttering "I think mommy made a big mistake." 

This place has a great reputation and people speak highly of it, so I'm keeping the faith. Plus I'm paid until December. If the program turns out to be amazing I will review that full day program...and for only two days a week. I think paying someone for my kid to nap and do puzzles is fucking ridiculous...but that's just me.

It was intense for me. I didn't expect this policy change and I didn't expect the speeches and they definately weren't expecting me to be one of THOSE moms...part of me thinks they should have taken a different approach. I'm a first time mom, new school and all that shit...and I know I need to welcome change and all that...I was just...suprised today. And he's my baby and I have my period and haven't slept well in days so I'm doing really well. 

Anyway, the czar is wearing his underwear right now (a construction vehicle boxer-brief number)...we've been down this road several times and I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it. He's upset because he was present for the whole fucking exchange and has decided he doesn't want to go to this school...change is hard, little man, and we'll do our best. Just save your biggest shit for that new teacher of yours next Tuesday. Make them earn my XX fucking grand...(cost edited because I'm tired of justifying it)

hi

Summer is over...can you believe it? We had a successful "let's keep the czar busy" summer. There was virtually no work in my inbox and I was able to escort him wherever. I even had time to sit at Starbucks while he went to camp.

Now we're in September. The czar starts a 2-morning preschool program next week in addition to a weekly 2 hour gym class. Filling out the paperwork for preschool bordered on ridiculous. It seemed just a few sheets short of what I had to provide for the adoption. JUST TAKE MY KID AND KEEP HIM BUSY and again, I got the "are you sure you only want to enroll him in a half day? He'll be the only one..." They asked if I'd like to come to class and talk about my profession. I said no and explained there's no way I could explain what I do without profanity...This preschool doesn't understand my humor.

And speaking of what I do, my inbox is filling up with projects and it's a good thing. The grocery money people and medical publishing folks have woken up. Thank God...because it kinda sorta looks like we'll have a place to call our own. Can't say much because I didn't sign anything, but I'm feeling good about it. It's not the dream house we envisioned but it is a good stepping stone. We'll see...it looks super good right now. This is the fourth time we've pursued a property and the first time we've gone this far. 

What else? OHHHH got an iPhone. How the hell did I survive so long without something like this?? Nevermind the stupid games and crap I downloaded, it's got all my music! It's got my email! It makes me very happy.

I think that's all I've got for now. I'm alive, just busy. :)

good times

My folder with everyone's blog address is gone.  Noooooooo.

what's happening

Camp is done. Thirty-six 3-hour gym sessions are complere and I have a terrible grande coffee frappucino lite addiction as a result. Like, I walk into Starbucks and it's waiting for me on the counter. They know. Camp was great...it gave me time to answer emails and make calls. Also gave me time to stare at a wall. For the czar, camp was amazing. He made friends: Jakey, Luke and Sammy Jammy. We had a playdate at Sammy Jammy's this afternoon. Me and three nannies. I will miss you, Buddy Camp...

Next week begins a ridiculous family social calendar...then on the 9th, I hand over my life savings and the czar begins his 2-day program at preschool combines with a weekly 2-hour stint at Buddy's gym class so he can hang with his crew. The preschool, by the way, comes with a lengthy list of rules and regulations and a parent get together at a raquetball club. Well excuusssse me.

Lots of other stuff brewing...MIL discussing a 4-month visit...possible home situation for us (looking good)...work seems to be picking up a teensy bit...OH and it seems I have to book a place for my son's December birthday party NOW. Jeez.

So that's what's been happening. It's a lot of nothing, which I guess is a good thing.

And KATE GOT A COURT DATE.

news!

Kate got a court date!

school

After a successul summer at Buddy Camp and accepting the fact that "mommy comes back," I decided to enroll the czar in preschool — the smallest, most likeable program I could find in my area that wasn't 7 grand a year. Found one close to home that's not 7 grand, but it's still up there for 2 days a week, 9-12.. The preschool director did her best to pressure me into enrolling him in a full day program, or additional mornings. "He's the only one doing 2 half days" she kept saying, and I kept saying "no, thank you."  My main argurment is the fact that my son spends his afternoons sleeping, sometimes for up to 3 hours. I refuse to pay a facility for a naptime and a wasted afternoon of sleepwalking. Yeah, I'm anal about naps. He just needs them...I need them too.  The two half days are enough for now and I'll be keeping him in a 2 hour sports class at Buddy's — he begged to stay and loves it there.  It's just weird having to shop for school items. I have a list. A friggin' list! And once a month, I'll be hosting snack time. This is serious stuff...and I don't think I have the energy. Man, I hated school...but the czar will love it. Hey, maybe they'll potty train him.

post 702

What's happening around here:

Lots of power struggles.
Lots of screaming..
Lots of tantrums.
Lots of opinions.
Lots of whining.
Lots of taunting.
Lots of throwing,

But no hitting because we accept the fact that "hands are not for hitting."

"The Spirited hild" makes it back into rotation.

I'm going to sit on the couch and stare at a wall for a few hours.